


The Wandering Advertisement Sign of Gravity Falls, Oregon

by howtotrainyournana



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Cryptids, Fluff, Gen, Gravity Falls Folk Tales, Hurt/Comfort, Original Gravity Falls Creature, Pines Extended Family, Pines Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-03
Updated: 2017-03-03
Packaged: 2018-09-28 01:40:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10062452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/howtotrainyournana/pseuds/howtotrainyournana
Summary: So many strange and heroic things happened during Weirdmaggedon that many were lost to time and memory. Many of these stories were small, in the grand scheme of things, yet infinitely important in bringing about a happy ending. Here are the tales of one such forgotten hero, the wandering advertisement sign of Gravity Falls, Oregon.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is a gift-fic for the lovely @llyrica on Tumblr who is one of my dearest friends and who is conspiring with me to put together a fan-made Journal 1 and Journal 2 for Gravity Falls. She's also my road trip partner and accompanied me on a spur-of-the-moment Cipher Hunt last summer to go see Bill XD
> 
> This is also a sequel to a lovely fic by Llyrica, which you can find linked to in my post by the same name as this fic on Tumblr. Anyway, please enjoy!
> 
> -Nana Graye

When the world ended, most people in town fled aimlessly in terror. Those who stayed put were either turned to stone or forced to flee eventually from the monsters and horrors too terrifying and otherworldly to comprehend.

And so, they wandered.

Some found refuge in mountain caves. Some in collapsed buildings. Some in bunkers hidden in the woods. Some in the burned-out husks of cars. But hide as they might nowhere, it seemed, was safe. The monsters and flying eyes of doom would find them and flush them from their safe spots. Some were taken. Others found refuge in never-ending travel, too weary to keep walking but too scared to stop. So they kept going. Aimless. Hopeless. Helpless.

It was then that they would see it.

Most screamed and fled immediately, and it would slink back into the shadows.

Some would charge blindly at it, hoping to scare it away with the sheer force of their terror and anger. And they would.

Still others would simply stop, the fight leaving them, eyes closed and too tired and too gone to bother running from the inevitable.

And it was to these few poor, lost, broken souls that it would come, walking steadily and primly on two steel legs to show them the way: the wandering blue highway sign advertising the Mystery Shack.

It was worse for the wear after the apocalypse, to be sure. The blue paint was scuffed and faded from tiffs with the new invading monsters. A corner of the Mystery Shack sign was torn off and the whole thing was nearly illegible from age or from fire, it was hard to tell. But it didn’t matter. The sign still had an attraction listed on it, so it still had a job to do.

The first poor soul it came across was a little girl in a torn-up dress, curled up behind a tree on the road out of town. The sign had been following her at a distance until she collapsed. When it cautiously stooped over her, she simply blinked up at it. They stared at each other for a while before a spark of recognition at the name of the advertised attraction brought a mumble of surprise from her lips. Taking it as an affirmation, the sign straightened up and set off on its path, the girl straggling along behind it. When they reached the clearing the sign stopped. It had tried to get closer before but some new force seemed to keep it away from the building.

_Which is just as well. A sign’s job is away from the attraction it’s advertising, after all._

The girl cautiously made her way to the Shack. Before she even got to the door it creaked open and another girl, a small blonde in a purple dress, burst through the doorway and flung her arms around her. The sounds of relief echoing back to the sign told it enough. It had done its job.

The second poor soul it came across was a short police officer. The man was stumbling through the forest clutching an old photograph and ran straight into the sign’s legs, dropping the picture in the process. The sign waited patiently for the man to pick it up - it must have been of someone very important to him from the way he scrambled to find it and tenderly brushed the dirt from it. The officer followed it easily enough, seeming to understand it meant no harm.

The third soul it came across was a bear with multiple heads. A few of them were injured and complaining at having to keep walking, but most were silent. The bear followed the sign with only a brief hesitation. Maybe it recognized that the sign was born from the same native anomalous nature as itself, rather than the threatening foreign power raging around them. Regardless, the sign accomplished its mission effectively and another soul found its way to the Mystery Shack.

The next souls it came across were a group of tiny men with pointy red hats. They followed easily as well, but they did bite.

The next soul it came across was another anomalous creature like itself, though this one offered a much more complex problem than the others. The unicorn was half-petrified when the sign found her, only barely able to walk. She eyed the sign warily with her one good eye as it leaned down close to her, the picture of the Mystery Shack taking up the whole of her vision. She snorted in derision at it at first but soon gingerly touched her horn to the picture in longing. The sign took that as permission and bent down, scooping her up as one scoops things with a shovel. She flailed in terror for a moment before calming, and the trip to the Shack was relatively uneventful.

_This isn’t how most signs bring people to the attractions they advertise. But I’m not exactly most signs, am I? Anything to get the job done, after all._

It left her near the border of the barrier, and the kind bear and little men from before helped her inside the Shack.

The next soul it came across was a man-beast creature. The sign usually steered clear of these creatures, as they had a tendency to chase it down and try to punch it. But this one seemed almost docile in comparison and besides, _a sign’s job is to tell lost people where to go._ It led the creature to the Shack with the others and was not surprised when the others kindly welcomed it inside.

The last souls it came across were a large group of humans. They seemed rather better than most who wandered the newly-made wasteland, but it didn’t matter to the sign - here were more people to bring to the attraction it advertised. When it popped out from behind the trees the group let out a collective shout. The identical blonde men grouped themselves protectively around the two small girls present. A man with a petrified woodpecker on his shoulder cringed back, shielding the frozen bird with one hand. The old man leading the group shouted, grabbing at the tattered hat on his head and flinging a wrench at the sign. It pinged harmlessly off the metal of the sign, right on the advertisement for the Mystery Shack. One of the girls pointed and shouted excitedly at the sign in a voice far too deep for a girl her age, the other joining in a second later in slightly accented chatter.

_They seem to have been headed to the Mystery Shack anyway. Very well. I can still be their guide._

The sign stood still. The old man scrutinized it curiously before a spark of recognition stirred in his eyes. He gaped at it before turning to the others and gesturing for them to follow him again. The sign turned, leading them in nearly the same direction they had been going. They were only a few minutes away when everything went wrong.

The group scattered at the flap of wings, taking to the trees to escape the petrifying gaze of the eyebat that had spotted them. The sign spun in a circle, unsure of who to follow - how was it ever going to lead them all to the Mystery Shack if they were scattered or worse, petrified?

_The old man knows how to get there, I’m sure of it, it thought, but what about the others?_

The eyebat bore down on the two girls, who had sprinted back the way they had already come (in the opposite direction of the Shack and of safety) and made the decision for it.

The sign turned and ran full-tilt into the eyebat, knocking it away from the terrified girls and capturing its attention. The sign gestured towards the Shack with one of its legs before doing something it had never, in all of its existence, done.

It deliberately led something _away_ from the attraction it advertised.

As it ran back into the forest with the eyebat hot on its tail, the sign caught a glimpse of the girls and the old man and the other humans, now regrouped and running in the direction of the Shack. If it had had a face, it would have smiled.

They eyebat caught the sign right at the edge of the highway into town, near the welcome sign. It froze midstep, both feet on the ground but one forward as though perpetually travelling, the sign for the Mystery Shack still visible even in stone.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------

Later, when the weirdness had been lifted from the town and the sign unfroze, it would wander back to the Mystery Shack to see if the people it had led there were still safe. The Shack was in disrepair but was actively being restored to its former glory. The kind old man who had originally given it the sign that became its purpose was supervising the work near the treeline, his back to the forest. The sign hesitated at the edge of the woods.

_No one wants a sign that walks_ the insidious little voice from long ago whispered.

The sign prepared to step back when the man spoke without turning around.

“You’re a good sign, you know that?”

The words froze it in place. Unsure of what to do it stood still until the man continued with a chuckle at his own joke.

“Not gonna lie, I thought you were pretty disappointing for a while, when I was using you as an attraction at the Shack. After all, who wants a sign that just stays still?”

_… Wait, what?_

“But then I heard that when all that weirdness hit and everybody and their brother were runnin’ helter-skelter all over the place lookin’ for a safe place to hide, you’d find ‘em and bring ‘em here. That took guts,” he said, voice softening uncharacteristically. He seemed to realize this a moment later and hurriedly added, in his typical gruff way, “Not that it wasn’t a hassle on me, having to share my resources and stuff.”

“But,” and here the man turned to face the sign, “that was a real good thing you did. Heh, you lived up to the name I stuck on ya! It’s the home of a hero, after all!” he grinned, puffing out his chest, and gestured up at the sign.

_But I was just doing my job,_ it wanted to say.

The bravado dropped and the man turned sheepish, bringing a hand up to the back of his neck to rub at it. “What I’m tryin’ to say is, _thank you._ Ugh, still hurts. Old Fiddlenerd told me what you did for him and his group - that you saved Mabel’s friends from getting petrified or killed. I’m not gonna lie, she woulda been crushed if anything had happened to them. She’s got the biggest heart of anyone I know,” he said, smile soft on his face.

His face fell a bit as he continued. “But sometimes that comes with a pretty big pricetag on it. So many times it’s dangerous to care,” he whispered. 

The sign waited, unsure of what to do.

The man remained silent for a while longer before seeming to rouse himself. “Enough of that sappy stuff from me though,” he said with a dismissive wave of his hand. He gestured at the sign to come forward out of the woods before turning and walking back towards the Shack and the people diligently repairing it. When the sign hesitated he turned back and gestured more emphatically, with a loud, “C’mon! I don’t have all day!” The sign quickly caught up with him and tailed him closely.

They walked around to the front of the Shack, where all of the people whom the sign had led to safety (and many, many others it had only seen from a distance) busied themselves with repairs, games, and the picnic lunch provided by Greasy’s diner. Several people turned as Stan yelled a greeting, and the rest turned at the exclamations from those who turned.

“Well jelly my beans, if it ain’t the mobile sign what saved our lives back yonder!” The old man with the beard scrambled over to the sign, smacking it affectionately on one of its metal legs. Alarmed, the sign stood still. “That was a right good thing ya did back then. You’re one right fine sign, by gum! Nothin’ like havin’ a travelin’ sign to follow to safety when all hell breaks loose!”

_… what? Does he mean … does he think a travelling sign is GOOD? That’s the second time someone has said that today. What is going on?_

The two little girls it had rescued from the eyebat ran over next, the larger girl wrapping one of its legs in a bear hug and _physically lifting it off the ground._ The sign flailed in midair and ended up sitting on the ground with its legs splayed out, if you can imagine a road sign sitting like a person. If it had had a face, it would have been a mask of pure shock and bewilderment.

“Oops,” grinned the girl, clearly unashamed.

“Thank you very much for saving our lives,” the other, smaller girl said, straightening her glasses. “You are a very reliable road sign and very dedicated to travelers. You are like a road guardian!” The other girl threw her arms in the air and yelled in agreement.

_I guess they’re not wrong,_ the sign mused. _But I was just doing my job, really._

The other creatures and humans it had rescued gathered around it, offering similar praises and encouragements and acknowledgements. They all seemed to have a similar theme though, one that blew the sign’s mind:

_They were all so happy that it was a sign that walked that they ran into._

It got its biggest surprise when a young girl in a bright pink sweater walked up to it and gave it the biggest hug her tiny arms could give.

“Thank you,” she said, “for saving my friends.”

She hugged it for a while longer before beaming up at it excitedly. “Now, who wants to help me give this heroic old sign a makeover!?”

_Uh oh._

\---------------------------------------------------------------------

Two hours and several cans of paint and _Rust-B-Gone_ later and the sign felt brand-new. The Mystery Shack advertisement had been completely updated and the blue paint of the sign buffed and touched up. In addition, various members of the town had added their own logos and advertisements - Greasy’s Diner, the local laser-tag center, the Gravity Falls Public Library, the biker bar downtown, the local State Park, Hoo-Ha Owl’s Pizzamatronic Jamboree, even the Historical Museum had added their piece. Several of the teenagers from town – a redhead and a darkly dressed boy specifically – took the opportunity to spray paint some appropriate graffiti along the back of the sign to “give it a cool, edgy look.” The crowning glory of it all, however, were the words painted in glistening black paint along the top of the sign:

_Attractions of Gravity Falls Oregon_

If the sign had had a face, it would have been smiling so wide its cheeks hurt. Instead, it took to leaning down and affectionately (and carefully) bopping all of the kind townsfolk and creatures on their heads. There was laughter at its antics, and some affectionate bopping back.

_I finally have a place to belong,_ the sign thought.

The kind old man stepped up to it, fists braced on his hips. “Now, I think it’s about time you hit the road, don’t you think?”

The sign froze. _What? I just found a place to belong at and he wants me to … why? What did I do wrong?_

The man continued, a grin wide on his face. “After all, a walking sign is so much better than one that just stays in one spot, am I right? Free mobile advertising!”

There was cheering and agreement from the crowd. Everyone was smiling up at the sign expectantly, waiting for an answer that it couldn’t give. After a few uncertain moments of looking around, it dawned on the sign what everyone was thinking.

_They all want a sign that walks, rather than one that stays put,_ the sign thought in wonder. _I’m … I’m useful, and wanted, and appreciated after all._ The sign would have wept, but it had no tears to weep with.

Instead, it leaned down one last time to the kind old man that had given it a place to belong in the first place.

_Thank you,_ it thought. _Thank you. I will do my best to make you proud._ The man grinned again, affectionately patting the face of the newly-painted sign. “Hey now, don’t get sappy on me. Hurry up and go do your job. I don’t pay ya to lollygag about!” The old man made a shooing motion with one hand and pointedly looked away from the sign, crossing his arms. He was still grinning.

The sign stood and looked around one last time. _I’m going to miss this place,_ it thought with a sudden pang of sadness. In a second though it was gone again, replaced with an even happier thought.

_I finally have a home to tell others about. A home I can always come back to._

_After all, I am a_ walking _sign._

Freshly painted and bearing the advertisements and pride of the town it could now properly call home, the walking sign strode away with a new spring in its step, off to bring the weirdness and wonder of Gravity Falls to the rest of the world.

As it was always meant to do.

**Author's Note:**

> And there you are! I hope you enjoyed it :D Stay lovely, my dears.


End file.
